Pilgrim's progress

Sunday 31, Dad’s 81st birthday. Time to awaken, like here with tea and toast in the sunlight streaming in through the net curtains (at last!) and record the last week. It would not be a true account unless I recorded the failures as well – well, not so much failure, but certainly less practicing of His presence. My greater involvement in stories (read 2 books last week) and movies (1 yesterday + DVDs) and my emotional state on a lower level, and I have found myself turning and remembering less than a week or so ago. More easily distracted. I know that it’s impossible to keep up the emotional highs, and I don’t expect to, so this is a good exercise in faith I guess. My experience has certainly not been the excited, constantly turning expression I talked about two weeks ago, but for all that, in a lull or a split second between longer activities I hear his name and respond. The main thing is to keep going, even without the emotions supporting it. I have to try to remember what I’ve been reading from bro Lawrence and Molinos: 1. It is by FAITH alone that I turn to Him and know He is there, not my constantly changing emotions, 2. Do not dwell on how long it has been, or how worthy I am, or how disappointed in myself I might be – just turn then and there, and 3. It is a simple and constant giving of myself over to Him.
It was with great relief I hung the phone up on a call from the client I was dreading earlier in the week. I was very aware, on that occasion, of Him – both during and before the phonecall, and found my words and thoughts tempered by that. My client was less annoyed with me than I’d expected and we reached a happy resolution. Thank God for grace and mercy.
Onwards. If anyone out there has further advice or experience to add to this account, I’m all ears. I know it’s a shared walk, and that there are many who are well ahead of me in this endeavor.